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Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pillar of strength.

It has been this long since I last felt this way - and no, it's nothing about relationships/love anymore.

No more of that for now.

That's the thing about growing up - real problems start to find their way to you, and all of a sudden, you're forced to mature. To take responsibility for your own actions.

--

My Papa is my pillar of strength, the one that supports and uplifts my entire family. The fact that he's suddenly diagnosed with a condition like that (albeit the fact that it isn't a life-threatening one)... left me really... helpless.

I often claim that I am not "spoilt"... but let's face it, I am spoilt and relatively pampered in some sense/areas. My parents are middle-class working adults, but they try to provide me and my brother with financial gratification beyond that of a normal working-class family. They slogged their guts out daily, but still try to make sure that me and my brother are well-fed and provided for. They shelter us whenever we are in need. When me and my brother commit mistakes (some gravely stupid ones, in fact), instead of blaming us, they try to find a proper solution to rectify the root of our mistakes. To ensure our safety, they always stay up late to make sure that we're home safely, at the expense of their health and sleeping hours.

There's a lot of areas that my parents have provided me with that are superior to others - I get a relatively high daily allowance, I basically cab everywhere I go, I buy whatever I want (with proper limits, of course), whenever I want, without answering to them. Basically, my financial situation is extremely great. I consider myself lucky.

Only to realize that... all of these are not permanent.

Over the years... my parents gradually became more and more haggard. As I was in my adolescence years, I was oblivious to all of these happening around me. Looking at my grandmother now, I feel that... one day, just one day, my parents might become like her too - Senile, and just waiting for her days to pass before age takes her away from us.

So, when my Dad requested for us to take a family portrait while his appearance is still intact and in a healthy state... I agreed. Even though I am camera-shy (don't be fooled by my Instagram photos, the other camera I am comfortable with is my iPhone 5's front camera)

"If you ever discover that we are turning senile, please do not attempt to take care of us. Dump us in an old folks' home if you must. I know how hard it is for me to take care of her alone, so, I will understand if you have to abandon us that way. 

Since I am still conscious of my surroundings now, let me tell you this - the day when I learn that both you and Gor are mature enough to take care of yourselves, I'd be ready to leave this world with no regrets."

Pa, you won't ever see this. But I love you, I really do.

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