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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Tough times.

You know what they say... "Tough times don't last but tough people do."

I have been putting the toughest decision on my mind for the longest time ever - should I give EV up? A few days ago, I have finally decided... Yes. I am going to give it up. Probably permanently, or at least for a long time or so.

At this point of my life, it is one of the liabilities that's holding me back, rather than driving me forward. Don't get me wrong. EV's my baby. In a little less than half a year's time, it would have turned 3. It would have reached a milestone. The thing is, could I sustain the business before it reaches 3 years old?

Trust me, I have been through a lot, and I mean, a lot of considerations, deliberations and hesitations before arriving at this (unfortunate) decision.

For those who are here, and have shopped with EV - the shop has received a lot of complaints in recent times. It's evident in my personal ask.fm account, too.

I do have a severe lack of efficiency when it comes to answering emails and orders. I am admitting it. My answering speed is slow, my mailing speed is worse, refunds could take from few working days to a week to process, so on and so forth. Backorders are often delayed because I sent the orders in late (or even wrongly, sometimes) to my supplier. Because of this delay, my suppliers will often run out of stocks or give me the wrong ones.

Some customers have even resorted to some unknown means to get my personal mobile number and contact me (Which I do not appreciate at all, thank you! Unless I initiated to give you my number, else it's a little intrusive imo). Some others has taken to other crude measures such as calling me out with personal attacks and accusatory remarks.

In any case, this is a vicious cycle.

There's really a lot of things going on right now in my life. I don't expect my customers to have a full understanding of what I am going through, and I mean, hey, it's not part of their responsibility to find out and understand my point-of-view either. Besides, it's a business after all. Not a charity nor sympathy transactions that we're dealing with here.

But you see, because of school, I barely have time for myself. I barely have time to sleep. I barely have time to spend with my friends outside of school. One of the most brought-up statements whenever people meet me up is... "Oh god, where have you been?! I haven't seen you in weeks/months". This isn't an exaggeration of any sorts, because yeah, I really haven't seen them in THAT long.

On normal school days, I will head to school in the morning or early afternoon, and only head back home at around 10-11pm or so. Many nights, I have "tonned" and overnighted because of my submissions. The submissions come in like tsunami - any design student would be well aware of that fact. There were even a few consecutive days where I didn't sleep at all, except for the 20 minutes power naps here and there. Submissions after submissions - they just continued to snowball into this current abomination that you see here. I am constantly fighting against time and deadlines. My physical health and immune system has became like shit. Overwhelming amounts of tension and stress has finally taken to overtake my brain and polluted my health.

I could get a fever again within 2 weeks (which has unfortunately, just happened).  People often asked me "How do you manage school and a business?". Well, the truth is, this is all an balancing act. And this balancing act is one that I failed terribly at. Both school and the business isn't going very well.

Negligence of the e-mails will happen whenever my submissions/deadlines are creeping nearby. I have had very understanding customers who would give me their well-wishes whenever they hear why I am unable to attend to the emails (Thank you so much, you have no idea how much it means to me!) but there are also other customers who could barely give a fuck about whatever I am going through, and just literally throw the worst kind of accusatory remarks at me. Could you imagine rushing against time, and still having to answer customers' enquiries, else you would be called names? Trust me, I have received all sorts of remarks from my customers. I understand that one is bound to receive negative comments in this business, but, it still hurts, you know?

People will say "Evil Valentine is horrible.", "Please work on your customer service.", "I am never shopping here again."... or even things like "Fuck you and your fucking irresponsibility". I understand their frustrations, I really do, and I am indeed the one responsible for not bringing them the most optimal shopping experience. But, tell me, who would feel good upon hearing those words?

Besides "chionging" these submissions, I will also have to answer customers' emails, check on stocks arrivals, pack the parcels, try to mail them on time, and I do them single-handedly. My parents has noted that it is starting to take a severe psychological and physical stress on me. I have became increasingly short-tempered in the household, and towards my friends as well.

I can't concentrate on my schoolwork without worrying so much about EV... because honestly, it is taking a VERY severe toll on me. Both mentally, and physically. I find it a dread to open my inbox. I find it a dread to pack the mails. I find it a complete dread to do all of that on a daily basis. Could you imagine being dead tired from a very long day at school, and still having to shoulder those responsibilities? I am only human, and there's only so much I can take in at one go. On some days, I just want to relax without those thoughts about the business and unfulfilled orders bugging my mind.

On some days, I even have to take time on-the-go to reply and refund.

Yes, I understood that there is always an option for a helper. But how much can a helper help at this point of time? I do not have the appropriate resources to host a helper, and neither do I have the time to even coach her about the ropes. It could possibly take more of me to coach her first before settling everything and getting them done by myself.

One sentence to summarize everything - I have completely lost the drive and resources necessary to sustain EV.

EV started off as a pastime. I loved fashion, and making a business out of a passion was one of the best things one could have done. Or at least, that was what I thought.

It was a business that I set up back in 2011, right after my O Levels. I started it with a mindset of "Hey, if it takes off, good. If it flops, then so be it". With that mentality, somehow, it managed to flourish and reached its peak back in mid-late 2012. I was very grateful for its growth, but...

I would love to continue with it, but I could no longer find the motivation nor resources to maintain the business. I love what I do, or at least I used to believe so, but EV is seriously holding me back in so many ways that I can't imagine. The extent of this dread is so horrible... I would have nightmares about not answering emails, and having customers yelling at me in real life. As you can see, this is already starting to create a negative impact on my daily life. I personally feel that it's about time that I stop it, before I cause more unnecessary stress on myself.

I also recognize that ending the business is a decision that I am potentially going to regret, and I know it very well. I am still very attached to EV, and am still interested in having a business related to my primary passions, fashion. It is also one of the livelihood that sustains my spending habits (my spending habits are horrible, and I am trying to change that), so asking me to give up on it is just... well, yeah. This is a very horrible feeling.

Many blogshops are able to update a new collection every fortnight, which was my initial plans for EV. Unfortunately, my last launched collection was in mid May. It is currently the 1st of September, which is an awful three and a half months. I don't think that is a healthy growth. Not at all.

Therefore, ceasing it seems to be the best decision at this point in my life.

I am gonna regret it so bad in due time. But for now, it is sincerely something I need to keep my personal life afloat too.

I will post up an official announcement on the shop in due time, so that I may clear all unfulfilled orders.

Until then, I have two more collections to go, so let's end it with a bang, shall we?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The 2nd. | Leap of faith

The number '2' has been of great significance to me since 2 years ago.

Pardon me, for a sudden wave tsunami of emotions just hit me.

Earlier on today, I had a H2HT with Viv after our impromptu ramen session. Today was a bad day for me, ah no, not romantically-speaking, but well, everything else in life. School took a severe toll on me. I have not slept properly since 4 days ago (only taking short naps) and gotten my own body into trouble... as always. During the H2HT, we had a blast into the past, reviewed the people we once were in secondary school, our petty quarrels (WCP v.s. ECP HAHAHA OH, US) the good times, the bad times.

Loads of questions hit me while we were talking.

What if I never changed course? What if I stayed in DMC? What would become of me? Would I be happier? Am I genuinely happy in Design School now? Is this really what I want to do in the future? What would have changed? If Viv didn't send me that e-mail after 1.5 years of not contacting each other, would we still be talking now? (But hell yes, I am glad you did bbg. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being equally gila in me when it comes to my crazy plans too <3) 

Pardon me for all the self-doubts, but it happens, you know?


It's okay to break down too.


But anyway, back to the number 2. The number 2 is still special to me. 2nd July 2011 is probably a date that I will never forget (I mean, besides my birthday, of course). Sometimes, I blame myself for thinking about this issue continuously, especially since it has been so long since me and A have parted ways. But I am only human, and I experience feelings and some fleeting moments too. So I guess this is pretty forgivable. Nobody should fault me for writing this out.

Exactly 2 years ago, it was when the magic (well, sorta) happened. He asked for a date, I was hesitant for good reasons. I have seen so many friends around me who have got hurt after devoting themselves to "love"... and nah-uh, I did not want that happening to me. But something inside me told me to take that leap of faith. To take that leap of faith and see how things could work out from there.

And it did, for a while at least.


He was my first boyfriend, my first love, first-partner-in-stargazing, first-personal-chef, first-someone-who-took-care-of-me-when-I-am-sick-instead-of-my-parents. Well... basically first everything-other-experience-such-as-breaking-my-curfew-for-someone-lmao. Plainly speaking, he was my partner in crime, my "best guy-friend". (I am sorry but Viv is still my bff4evah okay hayyyy gurlfran). He was someone that genuinely saw the worst side of me, loved me for who I am (or at least, I believed he really did), cared for this silly girl over here.

At the first stage of our relationship, I didn't know how to reciprocate. But he stayed. Sometimes my actions suggest reflect the opposite of my thoughts. I wasn't appreciative, I was clingy. Hell, I couldn't even stand the person I was.


I was genuinely happy though. We have been through the toughest of fights, a few short/temporary break-ups. But, he also made me the happiest girl alive (and I would like to believe that I did the same for him too), but he also brought out the devil in me (and again, I think I did have the same effect on him too. I brought out his worst side too). But unfortunately, sometimes, thing just don't align.

I changed, he changed. I am not going to fault either one of us in these issues. Because in a relationship, these things happen. I morphed into another person with differing ideals. So did his. Our ideals in both life and love slowly moved away from each other. Our ideals were getting more and more different with each passing day... and you know what they say? When you're more in love with the memories rather than the person you're facing, perhaps it's time to reevaluate the situation, and we did. What I regarded as a temporary break, escalated to a permanent one. In other words, both of us fell out of love.


We definitely belong to the "every other pair of lines" category but I am glad we weren't like parallel lines. Through all the things that didn't work out, our mutual mistakes and everything, I am still glad we met. Both of us helped each other to grow and become the person we are today.


For people who ask me whether I still love A?

Well, hell yes of course I still do!

But hey, the way I love and care for him now has changed. I love him as I love my friends. It isn't the let's-do-sweet-stuff-together. No, not at all man lmao.

I rant to him about things, about life, about myself and my occasional self esteem issues (Though he seldom does the same back because he's super tight-lipped). He suan me 24/7, calls me stupid, I call him an asshole back. He does stupid things, super YOLO things even, I hear about them and nag at him sometimes. Sometimes I want to kick him in the ass. Literally. Because he becomes that annoying. But with that said, I am sure there are instances whereby he wants to give me a tight slap because I am equally annoying too.

Sure, there will be residual feelings of romantic love somewhere, because after all, he was an integral part of my life for a long period of time. Sometimes it does hit me! But I can snap out of it rather easily. But no, I am no longer in love with him. And, he isn't in love with me anymore too.

At one point in time in the past 2 years, he has changed into someone that I would never see him becoming, but at the very least, I am glad to see him making the efforts into mending himself into the person he once was. The sweet, caring friend. Stay gold, pal. Stay gold.

One day, he will meet somebody else that will loved him in his entirety too. His flaws, his good points, and everything else. And may that person know how to truly appreciate him too. By then, I hope he will be really happy and become the lover he wanted to become. For what I lack in love, he could possibly find it in some other girl. No doubt about that. I will never be better than that girl, but neither would that girl be better than me. We are different.

---

Enough about the past... now, about the future.

And about meeting someone new? Maybe.
Maybe I already did. Everything is still uncertain. I have no idea as well. I am taking advantage of my age to slowly navigate and explore this realm again. I am still deterring anybody from breaking down my walls... for I do come with an additional emotional baggage now (unlike before, when A first met me).

But you know what? When I find that somebody, he will accept me, and my burdennnnnn baggage, and slowly relieve it together with me. He will help me to drop that baggage. Then, that would mean he's a true keeper. After my experience with A, I also learnt how to love and treat somebody better now, thankfully.

Maybe that's what first loves are for. So, the next someone that comes along better thank A for it too. :B If not, you'd be dealing with an immature bitch. Not that I am mature now, but yessss you get what I mean.

I know I will fall in love again.

But, for now, I do not want to take that leap of faith.

It's going to take me a lot to take that leap of faith now.

And... this to everybody I know.



With that said. Happy 2nd. :) I don't mean this as in 2nd-would-be-anniversary to him, but rather, just happy 2nd to everybody. Because 2nd is a special number to me, after all. Just because.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

An escapade: Bangkok.

This is a severely overdue post, but who cares, since it's Bangkok we're talking about here!

So, for those who are unaware, I actually went to Bangkok for a short escapade (2nd June - 5th June 2013) recently with my bestie (Viv), her bf and well... let's wait for the anti-climatic character - my mom. 

Day 1 / 2nd June 2013:

So, on the morning of the 2nd, we took an extremely early flight (7.15am - let's cue the morning crankiness) via Jetstar and believe it or not, it was my virgin flight. I have went overseas twice prior to this trip... but none required the plane as a mode of transportation. Hence, the flight to BKK was the very first time that I sat on a plane, actually. But yayzers, look, I am still alive!

As it was a morning flight, I actually took a few power naps here and there on the flight, but as soon as we landed, we were greeted by a beautifullllll rainbow near the Thai Airport. An extremely lovely way to start the trip (:



Pichaz credits to Viv


After we landed, we spent the whole of Day 1 doing the necessities - travelling to our hotel (Centrepoint Petchburi) and checking in. Centrepoint Petchburi used to be a service apartment, but it has recently underwent a namechange, and upgraded itself to become a legit hotel. 

Regardless, I was pretty satisfied with both the room and service there! My room had a kitchen, and the room was relatively spacious (+++ the toilet has a bathtub, and Min loves bathtubs wheee). The best part was that, my room was just right next to Viv's room, with a connecting door in between. So double the convenience for both of us, heh!

(Especially for poor me who forgot to bring her iPhone charger and Macbook along to the trip #WITHDRAWALSYNDROMES #COLDTURKEY)

Our hotel is literally within walking distance of both Platinum Mall and Pratunam Market, so yay (; I'd recommend this hotel for lodging for anybody who's interested! It is extremely affordable as well - for a 4D3N accomodation, it only costs us $170SGD per head! 

Here's a image I have stolen off Google Images to prove my point:



After doing all the lehceh stuff, it's time to start doing the fun things... EXPLORING CHATUCHAK WEEKEND MARKET GUISE. Chatuchak Market is like the Thai version of our Bugis Street, except a hundred times bigger and a million times more awesome. 

As we landed on a Sunday, it was the only day we could check Chatuchak out (with it being a weekend market D:) and since there were over 10000 stalls, we decided to focus our energies on the fashion section and only explored around that area. 

I found a few pretty good/cheap buys there :') My total damage at Chatuchak came down to about... $120SGD for the day. 

Scored a few cute buys there and was extremely satisfied with all of 'em heh - ESPECIALLY MY ALPACA NECKLACEEEE. It was the most expensive item I've gotten (at 300 Baht/SGD$12) at Chatuchak but hay, it's the cutest thing ever, so I will forgive myself for that little splurge. Other than that, nothing else was above 250 baht (SGD$10) (:

Obligatory loots shots!



Here's a few tips for those who intend to visit Chatuchak too:

△ The heat at Chatuchak is unbearable for most people, so for those who intend to visit Chatuchak... please dress in something simple and light (e.g. tank top and shorts) - unless you're like me, who can tahan extremely warm temperatures really well lololol, then go ahead and wear whatever you want!

△ Practice the ~calculator speech~. By that, I mean just key in the amount you'd like to pay for a certain product if you find that the price that the stall owner quote is unreasonable. When displeased with the price, JUST WALK OFFFF. Most of them will relent and give you a better price when you're on the verge of leaving.

△ Bargain, but be reasonable. Most of the prices are already really cheap, but since we're in BKK, let's milk them for what they're worth. Most stall owners would be happy to give you more discount as long as you buy more items from the same stall. I remembered liaising with a few fellow Singaporeans I met there to consolidate a purchase and got a pretty good discount for my buys, heh. ;)

As an agaration, these are the market prices so that people won't get ripped off...
△ Tanks/tees - 100-200 baht (SGD$4 - $8)
△ Shorts - 150-200 baht (SGD$8 - $10)
△ Dresses - 150-250baht (SGD$8 - $12)
△ Bags - I didn't buy enough to get a proper gauge, so explore at your own risk!
△ Accessories - Below 100 baht (SGD$4)
△ Male clothings - 200-300baht (SGD$8-$16)
△ "Indie"/handmade products: 250-350 baht (These are typically more well-designed, and the quality shows!)

We walked around Chatuchak for a good 6 hours (non-stop man, non-stop), till our bodies were all sore and aching, and then we finally decided to head back to our hotel and rest before we have our dinners. After washing up, we had our dinner at Platinum Mall's food court, and well, let's just say that there wouldn't be a return visit on our part. The food was awful at best.

Was about to retreat back to our hotel, but we discovered this gem known as the night market outside Platinum Mall. The night market features loads of stalls hawking their products at cheap prices - most of them being handmade/really unique. There was this particular stall that was selling customizable bags/clutches/laptop cases, and they were all incredibly pretty - so me, Viv, her bf all got ourselves a little customized something. Got a few souvenirs/gifts for my friends along the night market too (: 

I actually wanted to purchase this smiley-faced ukelele (SGD$45!) but the stall owner was a bit of a lying asshole, so I decided to give it a past even though it was so damnnnn cute. :'(

After that, hotel sweet hotel!

Day 2 / 3rd June 2013:

Arguably, the day we appointed as the 'Let's-go-crazy-shopping' day between Viv and I. 

We couldn't find Pratunam Market at first, and ended up wandering around some obscure shopping mall that has nothing attractive... at all. But, I did get myself some Starbucks and Toms 'n Toms Coffee from there, so all's good.



Went craycray at Platinum Fashion Mall. Platinum Fashion Mall is a wholesale mall, where most local blogshops source their clothings from (Well, look at me exposing myself since I own a blogshop too... But it's an open secret, plus I don't source much from there too). Apparently, Platinum used to be incredibly cheap but now, due to the exponential hike in tourists, the prices have raised quite a bit. 

The prices are no longer as competitive as before. Some of the clothings' prices are even similar to our local blogshops' pricing (!!!), so how scary is that?!

Nonetheless, despite the severe commercialisation, I still managed to score a few good/cheap buys there, and brought in some cute clothings for EV as well! Those babies would be coming up soon, so stay tuned! 

Do note though, the people at Platinum are less receptive towards bargaining of prices. Do try to tell them that you're looking for 'wholesale prices'. However, the wholesale price is only applicable if you're buying 2-3 more items! So only purchase from stores you really like, otherwise, you're better off buying from local blogshops. 

Got ourselves lunch at the MacDonalds there, and how can we leave without the obligatory tourist shot with the Thai Ronald McDonald?


#SAWADEEKAAAA
#2KEWL4YOU


Another round at the night market and off we go! 

In our round 2 at the night market, Viv managed to get herself a streetside manicure #achievementunlocked. 

She got a set of Despicable Me Minions nails at only 200 BAHT/SGD$8 WTF. C'mon, express manicure already costs more here in Singapore. Ah Thailand, how I adore you for having such cheap deals.

I wanted to get myself a set of sneaker nails too, but le mother was being a cockblock as usual + my nails are Gelish and they do not have the necessary tools to remove Gelish nails properly. Sighpie. #firstworldpains

Despite that, being the #BADA55 we are, me and Viv decided to get ourselves a tattoo on our wrists. #YOLO #YO-FUCKING-LO. 

Before you drop your jaws and gasp any further... relax, I am not *that* impulsive. It is a temporary tattoo. (Speaking of which, it already faded off sobs). Viv got herself a Dreamcatcher tattoo and well, me, a unicorn. 

We showed the street artist (Mr Bank) the designs we had in mind and omfg, Mr Bank has an impeccable sense of artistic style/photographic memory. He improvised both of the designs that me and Viv gave him into something way more awesome... and the results are as shown below:




#YOUGOBANKCOCO
#TENPOINTSFORYOU

And, here's the obligatory "loots of the day" picture:


As you can tell, I brought back some flower crowns (my excuse is that they would be applicable during EV's outdoor photoshoot)...


Finished the day off with a wonderful home-cooked supper (my favourite instant noodles of all-time) cooked by Viv's bf and us sipping Breezer as if it's soda. Well, it really tasted/felt like soda. The alcohol content inside it is pathetic. 

Then, Day 3!

Day 3 is arguably our 'Let's-be-hipster-tourist-and-explore-indie-Thai-places' day. During the day, me and Viv went crazy and decided to have a Round 2 of shopping at Platinum again, since we felt that we haven't had enough of that place in Day 2.

We ventured off to Thong Lor Soi during the night, and can I say, I really, really, really, fell in love with Thong Lor Soi? I would consider it the Thai counterpart to our local Haji Lane, except much cooler. Thong Lor Soi houses all the indie cafes, bars, pubs and even Thai boxing rings. 

I joined Viv and her bf for a little shisha-and-drinking session (even though I didn't exactly shisha, lmao), before we had our late dinner at Bonchon Chicken! Bonchon Chicken is also our SG's 4Fingers, for those who're wondering.


And after dining at Bonchon Chicken, I feel extremely scammed by the 4Fingers in SG. Bonchon Chicken is so much cheaper here, and pumps the exact same taste. We only spent 350BAHT (SGD$16) for 18 pieces of chicken. 

After our fingers-licking feast at Bonchon Chicken, we went down to the famed Mr Jones Orphanage (it's a restaurant, not a real orphanage...) for our lovely desserts wheeeeeee.

You just can't leave BKK without trying Mr Jones Orpahange. Mr Jones Orphanage is a themed restaurant that features all things whimsical, sweet and child-like. In a nutshell, I consider it Heaven. I was mentally slapping myself for not bringing my DSLR along in this trip because the restaurant is.... so incredibly lovely, beautiful and photogenic. *swoons* *inserts lovey-eyed emoji here*

Perhaps I should let the pictures do the talking here.





Got myself a slice of the Oreo Pizza. The Oreo Pizza is stuffed with Oreos (well, duh), roasted/melted marshmallows, and meringue. I was... in love. I was expecting it to be 'jerlat' but surprisingly, I managed to devour the entire slice without it feeling 'jerlat'/sickeningly-sweet at all! Really. Also got a set of the Caramel Tea Set to go along with my Oreo Pizza. Here's my adorable bbg posing with one of the little teacups.





Again, the total bill only chalked up to approximately SGD$8. (How... they... earn... one...?!)
Finally got back to the hotel at about 12 midnight. Of course, I earned an earful from Le Momsie. But it's alright.

DAY 4 (a.k.a the day for us to trudge unwillingly back to Singapore)!

We spent the last day at Roast Cafe (also located at Thong Lor Soi 13, just within walking distance from Mr Jones Orphanage) to have our brunch. The breakfast there was so fulfilllling and fairly affordable. It isn't cheap for the usual Thai fare but hey, we got what we paid for!



Got myself a Roast breakfast set (inclusive of eggs-any-style, bacon, satueed potatoes and salad! also came complimentary with a cup of coffee!) + Half-Baked as dessert. The breakfast was good, but I was in love with the Half-Baked instead! Half-Baked features a warm, half-baked cookie dough at the bottom of the dessert, while a whole scoop of chilly ice-cream is ploughed over it, drizzled with fudge sauce no less. It's the perfecttttt combination, I swear.

Both plates cost about 450 baht (SGD$18) in total! I consider the money well-spent since my tumtumz was extremely satisfied! I wasn't as adventurous in my food choices as compared to my bbg, who ordered a Crabmeat Eggs Benedict. Hers was good but the serving was smaller than expected so do take note!

We went down to Mr Jones Orphange again to have our second round of desserts and to #step #one #ootd.



After Jones, our last stop was to visit Terminal 21! Terminal 21 is a newly-opened shopping mall in Bangkok that is extremely similar to our local malls! The best part? It's an airport-themed mall so the toilets on each level are designed accordingly to the selected cultural background. (Rome? Japan? London?)

Didn't get enough time to explore the place though, as we had a flight to catch. Shopped briefly at the H&M over there... and I spent my last SGD$100 there before rushing off to the airport. Amen. Did some embarrassing things inside the plane too... such as doing a "vlog" and having inappropriate conversations with le bestie in front of a small kid (sorry to pollute your mind so early, young 'un!)...



AND THEN REALITY HIT ME -
I reached Singapore. :(



Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pillar of strength.

It has been this long since I last felt this way - and no, it's nothing about relationships/love anymore.

No more of that for now.

That's the thing about growing up - real problems start to find their way to you, and all of a sudden, you're forced to mature. To take responsibility for your own actions.

--

My Papa is my pillar of strength, the one that supports and uplifts my entire family. The fact that he's suddenly diagnosed with a condition like that (albeit the fact that it isn't a life-threatening one)... left me really... helpless.

I often claim that I am not "spoilt"... but let's face it, I am spoilt and relatively pampered in some sense/areas. My parents are middle-class working adults, but they try to provide me and my brother with financial gratification beyond that of a normal working-class family. They slogged their guts out daily, but still try to make sure that me and my brother are well-fed and provided for. They shelter us whenever we are in need. When me and my brother commit mistakes (some gravely stupid ones, in fact), instead of blaming us, they try to find a proper solution to rectify the root of our mistakes. To ensure our safety, they always stay up late to make sure that we're home safely, at the expense of their health and sleeping hours.

There's a lot of areas that my parents have provided me with that are superior to others - I get a relatively high daily allowance, I basically cab everywhere I go, I buy whatever I want (with proper limits, of course), whenever I want, without answering to them. Basically, my financial situation is extremely great. I consider myself lucky.

Only to realize that... all of these are not permanent.

Over the years... my parents gradually became more and more haggard. As I was in my adolescence years, I was oblivious to all of these happening around me. Looking at my grandmother now, I feel that... one day, just one day, my parents might become like her too - Senile, and just waiting for her days to pass before age takes her away from us.

So, when my Dad requested for us to take a family portrait while his appearance is still intact and in a healthy state... I agreed. Even though I am camera-shy (don't be fooled by my Instagram photos, the other camera I am comfortable with is my iPhone 5's front camera)

"If you ever discover that we are turning senile, please do not attempt to take care of us. Dump us in an old folks' home if you must. I know how hard it is for me to take care of her alone, so, I will understand if you have to abandon us that way. 

Since I am still conscious of my surroundings now, let me tell you this - the day when I learn that both you and Gor are mature enough to take care of yourselves, I'd be ready to leave this world with no regrets."

Pa, you won't ever see this. But I love you, I really do.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Hello wello.

HAY GUISEEEEE.

Dammit, I'm so sorry! I have been gone from this virtual space + EV for way too long... but, now I am back, fully packed and armed with ammo to bring EV and this dead blog back with a bang! :3 If you haven't noticed, I have also redesigned this blog! :3 Do hover over the header and the social media icons to see them in colour *v* (#cheapthrills)!

Life's been swell lately, especially since I have been rotting at home 3/4 of the time... and doing nothing productive at all. But well... you know what they say - "Time you enjoy wasting is time not wasted." I was also kept rather busy during this holidays since with camp-related issues and spending time with my friends and family instead. So glad that this holidays have shaped me to become a better friend/sibling/daughter. :3

Anyway, enough of the mundane words. Allow me to spam y'all with my Instagram picspam instead. (Okay, you know what? Just follow me on Instagram already - @ohmyshermin) I promise to update the next entry with gorgeous, HQ, DSLR pictures. Pinky promise. I am just too darn lazy to edit anything right now.

#FIGHTERS 
Because Dim Sum makes Shermin a happy child.
A really, really, really happy child. Heh.

#DEMILOVATOCONCERTOHYEAH

Enjoyed the concert sfm, especially with my two bbgs (Tiqqy <3 and Becks <3). The only downside was the long waiting time. Demi literally came out at the time that the concert was supposed to end, but hay, it lasted an hour exactly, so I won't complain much about it. Demi's gorgeous in person. Inside and outside too. :') 

Right now, I am addicted to Heart Attack. #guiltypleasuremoment

Tiffany Alvord happened to be at the concert itself too!

We took a picture with the lovely Tiffany Alvord, but I ended up looking like shit in the photograph, but hayyyyy the two girls besides me look gorgeous, so I uploaded it anyway.


#YSLLIPSTICK

Clearly, a splurge.
I don't spend so much on make-up usually, but tell me, how would you resist that lovely bullet in the YSL packaging?


#RESTORE2FLEA

Sales were quite bad, as I was expecting more crowds, but oh well, managed to earn $xxx at the end of the day, so all's cool! But hay, take a look at the infinity rings I got from my lovely Ling? If you're interested in the rings, please let me/us know as well! :3

Redesigned some stickers to give out to the shoppers at the flea as well! Will probably include them into customers' parcels soon enough!

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Alsooooo, I have just submitted orders for EV's comeback/the new collection... and I'm stoked to say the least! Things aren't going very smoothly on the business side, but let's cross our fingers and hope everything goes well after some tidying up :3

Would you guys like some sneakie peekie of what's coming soon? :3 These are just a few of what are to come :3 I'll probably post up more sneakie peekies when the goods at my doorstep!

EV

Nastygal, Topshop, ASOS, Zara, A.Wang... and so much more!
If I could, I would keep every single item from this collection. No kidding/exaggeration!



That's all for now! If you guys still have any more questions, do drop me a note on my Ask.fm. Be nice though! Since it's anonymous, you can drop me hate (but guise, why would you hate me? ヾ(´▽`;)ゝ) as well, but... let me just warn you guys right thar  - I can take in insults about myself but do not even try to insult my friends or family or go anywhere close to that. However, if you do, my wrath will then extend its lovely arms towards you. Just saying.


Monday, January 14, 2013

Courage is;

Courage is; 
It's knowing you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. - Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

Courage is;
Loving you. Still.
I knew I would be done for at the end of the day with nothing. But I am still here. To see through it no matter what. But again, thank you for trying to help this girl stay so courageous.

But there will come a time in life, whereby this courageous girl will learn to be a coward for once, to fled and seek refuge elsewhere. To seek solace. Where she can find more warmth, where she needs not feel apologetic for every little thing she does, where she needs not feel so scared.

She does needs strength in order to stay courageous, but she's lost for now, she really can't find any strength in her anymore. The strength that she needs... feels so distant away from her.

We can't be courageous all the time, right?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Blessed.

Exactly 14 days since I last blogged, which means it's exactly Day 14 of 2013 too.

The past two weeks has been hectic work-wise. Juggling 5 submissions in a week + EV's major launch is noooooo joke, but I am glad I did it anyway.

I feel that life has literally been at the perfect balance for the most part since 2013. Learning how to let go (of things, of people) was possibly one of the best things that could happen to me. Learning not to pressurize myself too much into perfection has also yielded great results. Learning how to care for others, to give without taking anything back has made me feel amazing The past two weeks has been amazing, and I have no idea what happened and who made this all happened, but I feel there is a need to say thank you. To whoever. To whatever. To whichever. But, thank you.

I have no idea who I am supposed to give thanks to, since there isn't a particular faith I believe in, but hey, let's just assume I am praying to the one/the Maker that makes all these things amazing in my life, alright?

I can't be more grateful regarding my grades (please let them stay consistent so that I may actually expect to see a decent GPA this semester!).
I can't be more grateful for the people in my life who has stayed by me and never left.
I can't be more grateful... for you. Who is actually telling me you'd try. And that is enough. Even if it boils down to nothing (since it might really be so) at the end of the day, I am still grateful that you are/would even want to try. Thank you.

Please let 2013 stay this good.
Or at least half this good.
I'd really love to fill up the "2013 Positivity Jar" I recently got from Art Friend. Teeheez.