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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Sentimental, semi-mental.


I am not particularly sad right now.
However, I'm not particularly happy either.

It almost looks as if it is a facade that I'm putting up, that I am laughing and smiling as per usual.

Yet, it is also the truth.

I am not faking those emotions. When I am laughing and smiling, I am truly happy. Truly glad, truly excited, etc. But it's kinda like a... momentary thing. When the excitement dies down and the happy moments run out, I am back to the brooding self. I walk away from the crowd. I want to be alone. I want to be alone with my thoughts.

I try to occupy myself and thoughts with something else. I do, for a moment right there, and again, those happy/positive thoughts disappear.

On the other hand, I'm not filling my mind with negative nor unhappy thoughts either. They're not deadly, they're not toxic.

Sometimes, I do drive myself mental.
Perhaps, it's time to stop being so sentimental?

--

I don't wish to tell a lot of people about my thoughts anymore.
Some will listen, but some plainly hear.

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