I am not particularly sad right now.
However, I'm not particularly happy either.
It almost looks as if it is a facade that I'm putting up, that I am laughing and smiling as per usual.
Yet, it is also the truth.
I am not faking those emotions. When I am laughing and smiling, I am truly happy. Truly glad, truly excited, etc. But it's kinda like a... momentary thing. When the excitement dies down and the happy moments run out, I am back to the brooding self. I walk away from the crowd. I want to be alone. I want to be alone with my thoughts.
I try to occupy myself and thoughts with something else. I do, for a moment right there, and again, those happy/positive thoughts disappear.
On the other hand, I'm not filling my mind with negative nor unhappy thoughts either. They're not deadly, they're not toxic.
Sometimes, I do drive myself mental.
Perhaps, it's time to stop being so sentimental?
I don't wish to tell a lot of people about my thoughts anymore.
Some will listen, but some plainly hear.