You told me you subjected me to those various challenges because you wanted me to become stronger.
You wanted me to be strong without you.
You told me that I've been too dependent on you, and that one day, if you leave without a cause, you were afraid I'd literally die with you.
You wanted me to stop blaming myself whenever things goes wrong.
You told me it was all for my own good, and that I'd become stronger after it all.
So you threw me, the kid who didn't know how to swim... alone in the pool. (Guys this is an analogy okay haha). You hoped that the kid will teach herself/himself how to swim.
Your intentions were good, but little did you know that, this child over here could be an hydrophobic child, or become one? If you try to force a child to swim, against his/her own wishes, he/she would only struggle, struggle so much to stay afloat. They could steal other kids' floats, or they could just drown and die because they didn't don't know how to swim.
You thought the child would gain survival instincts and teacher himself/herself how to swim. Some would. But every other child have their own personalities/characteristics, and you failed to realize that.
Right now, you've made the child incredibly hydrophobic. Afraid to touch water, afraid to experience it too.
The child turned into a monster.
The child now has trust issues. She/he would not let any strangers near her/him again, only to let them push her/him down into the pool again, without any guidance, without any help. Nobody to save the child.
The child has now became someone, who is afraid to... do everything.
But still, a hydrophobic monster.
Afraid to love, afraid to let myself be loved.