But it keeps hurting me that all my efforts are still going down the drain.
Down, down, down the drain.
And that perhaps, the naysayers were right.
Maybe without this blogshop in mind, I'll feel less guilty about neglecting my schoolwork, less sorry to my parents, and certainly... less sorry to myself.
Probably declaring EV on an unknown hiatus from now until I get my shit up and done.
And of course, to deal with all the current shit going on EV's email.
I'm in so much stress you guys can't imagine.
The idea of ceasing my life now seems bloody fucking tempting. But I am always too much of a pussy to do it fo real. Since I don't get to do what I love, I am not even good at what I think I should be good at doing. I am a loser, all in all. So, living... what for?