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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am very very very very very exhausted by all my attempts/efforts to keep things the way they should be. While silence is golden in this case, am I supposed to let people continue hurling insults and accusations at me? The best part, they looked like they're so happy when they were with me. They looked genuinely happy. They kept making me feel like I am so close to them but... oh well.

Am I supposed to let people hurl malicious words at me while I continue to keep quiet? I am not guilty of the things they say - not at all - but I am keeping quiet because I thought it was for the best. But that gave people the chance to take advantage of that fact and think that I am only keeping quiet because I am guilty/scared. Even when people told me I should flare up and do something about it before it gets worse, I still didn't. Not because I am scared, but because I care about others, especially my loved ones.

I don't know why I am blogging about this while skipping class, because frankly, I am sick of life. I am solely going to school because of obligations to my parents. I want to switch course. In a nut shell, I need a getaway. I feel so terribly suffocated.

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I am just keeping silent. For now.

My conscience is clear - in fact, it's more than being crystal clear. I defended you when people told me that it's you being petty. I told them you could be bounded by circumstances when you lost it at me the first time.

But now you're pushing it.

If you really pushed me to my limits... You'll see all the things I can do - and I can assure you, they won't be pretty.

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