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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This is a post full of irrelevant rants about my past + weak body.


So, a new Rotavirus or w/e stomach flu virus was making its rounds again this season... and guess who was one of those unfortunate victims that got struck with such a virus/disease? Me! Curse my immune system, once again. ^___^ Apparently, the white blood cells in my body decided to laze off and not do their jobs... so yay me!

For the entire time last week, I was stuck at home and the feeling sucks. I don't even get to enjoy any good food because my stomach is too weak to handle savoury snacks. :( So... only plain porridge, plain rice and plain swiss rolls for me. Plain plain plain fibres and carbohydrates. A high fever (it reached 39.6 degrees for fuck's sake) plagued me for the first few days... and then the diarrhea + abdominal cramps came rolling in subsequently after the fever subsided. Talk about tragic.

OH YES. ONE OF THE MAJOR SIDE-EFFECTS IS THAT I LOST WEIGHT. I get it, normal girls would be happy at the thought that some inches and kilograms are shedded off, but for me, it's a terrifying affair. I already /look/ anorexic (case-in-point: I only LOOK anorexic because my metabolism rate goes on like the speed of light - when the reality is... I eat like a mad cow and I'm not even kidding) and if I'm gonna lose some more weight/fats, I can kiss goodbye to body-warmth-insulation (I get cold even when I wear hoodies outside on a BRIGHT SUNKISSED DAY) and say hello to a Ribcage-esque bony body. I'm not a big fan of that, y'knw? I don't get the adoration of such a body type tbh.

It took about 5 days for me to make a full recovery so basically, I was stuck inside the 'comfort' of my own house FOR ONE LONG WEEK HURHURHURHUR CURSE MY LIFE. Even online-shopping became a bore and I don't even say that often.

Just two days ago, I was entertaining extreme mood swings. Vivian said it's a combination of being cooped up at home like Mother Hen waiting to give birth + PMS. She was right about the latter. There was this sudden loss of direction + emptiness. Regrets that haunted me through my past. All the 'What If's, all the uncertainty, all the of 'If only I could be as good as...", all the 'If only I didn't do that..."

And then yesterday, the Red Ocean came TOGETHER with cramps + diarrhea - what a lethal combination. So, due to the severe pains, I literally curled up into a ball.... Not at home. But in public. Oh god, the embarrassment. :/ I was literally squatting on the pavement because my uterus felt as if it was gonna rip itself apart from my body... it hurts so fucking badly and I was in the middle of Ann Sian Hill (where Oakham Market is located at) with no legit-looking toilet unless you walk a mile to get there.

I ended up taking a taxi ($__________$ T______T) back home because the bus services there doesn't pass by my house at all and I needed the fatest and most convenient mode of transportation back home. Several taxi drivers just don't have much compassion, tbh. They were in the middle of changing shift, so most of them refused to pick me up unless my place was near their designated venue. Since my place is at a ulu part of Singapore (somewhere near Mount Faber), none of them agreed to ferry me back to my place except for this nice Angmohfied taxi uncle (HE'S SO ADORABLE LMFAO; he kept saying jokes in the middle of the journey back home so tht I wouldn't feel so panicky).

Life suxzxzxz.

On a completely irrelevant note... don't you just hate it when the past can have a domino effect on your current life...? No matter how much you hate your past, some parts of it will still continue to haunt you at your life. You wished that you didn't do this, you wished that you'd have did that. Worst of all? Sometimes, there's no going back...

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